Monthly Archives: October 2005

Some sort of what?

Introspective? Deep?

That’s a hard one to live up to. How do we continue to show our real lives and our true selves? We all think we don’t have anything interesting to say, and yet, when we actually sit down and say it, we find that people are interested. The deeper we go into ourselves, the more that people are interested. That being said, I have no clue what to write about. So, here’s a little blubber of nothing for you to chew on…

Sometimes I wonder why it is we become our parents. How does this happen? When does this happen? Does it only happen once we have our own children, or is it just a matter of maturity and experience?

Sometimes I wonder if my child will become like me. Will he have a family that makes him feel the way I do-ectastic, lucky, thankful, grateful, frustrated, scared, elated, hopeful, terrified-when he is an adult? Will he blame me or thank me for the way his life has arrived? Or will I not be included in the process.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever see grandchildren.

Sometimes I wonder if I will live through seeing my parents pass on.

Sometimes I wonder if I will be left alone or if it will be Steve that will be left alone. Will I be angry that we didn’t do the whole car off the edge of the cliff thing that we promised to do so many years ago so that neither of us would ever be alone?

Sometimes I wonder if Michael will be ok when we are gone.

And then I wonder how I ever became the total center of the Universe. How did I ever get so selfish? Why are these fears so based on ME ME ME?

Then I finally wonder if I will ever give myself a break and just deal with who I am and just say, hey, I’m not *THAT* bad.

Now while all this sounds very dreary, let me assure you that I didn’t intend for it. I just kind of threw out there whatever came to the surface. Take it for what its worth…

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The Western Keep

Sheesh, I finally found the Western Keep (Final Fantasy) after days of searching…Do the happy dance for me, would ya? 😀

I’m in the process of getting caught up with everything at Scrapforums and getting ready for my big trip next week. Tuesday, I am stopping at my SIL’s to see my new nephew and then going to Brooklyn to visit a friend from college. Wednesday, I head for Stamford for CKU-Albums! I am so psyched! It has been a lot of work trying to get ready for everything, and I still have a lot to do (like get my pics developed) but I think it will all work out ok! 😀

So what’s new with you?

Today

Today is kind of a rough day. Its the time of sad anniversaries around here and while I’ve been dreading this time over the past few months, now that its getting closer, I’m finding myself more and more emotional. I’ve been crying last night and today at the drop of a hat. It stinks.
In the meantime, I’ve been getting a lot of work done with emails and all that kind of stuff. I had wanted to play some video games this morning while Michael was at school, but spent time on the phone with my mom talking about Sarah and a little bitch (did I say that? I meant bully) at her school. Since I have a zero tolerance attitude toward bullying, I am ready to march into Sarah’s classroom and beat the little girl to a pulp. I think I should be allowed since I’m Sarah’s big sister, and really, what are big sisters for? 😉
So here I am, just a few minutes before picking up Michael from school stopping in to say hello. I am hoping to go bloghopping today to try to catch up on all my online friends’ lives. Maybe I’ll see you out there?

good news

But its a secret…

LMAO! How unfair is that??

And to all you out there who will think it, NO, I’m NOT pregnant! 🙂

Its good news regarding Scrapforums…you’ll find out this weekend!

My weekend was heavenly

I was so lucky to get to the beach this weekend with Liss. We had movies, good food, music, decent weather, video games, no men, and no children. I really needed that.

I need to get myself together. For real for real.

But it was really nice to walk away from it all for a weekend.