Mullets in DCUrbanesia

mullet: Pronounced “MUHL LET”: A hairstyle in which the front is cut trim, but the back is long, left wild and often uncut. Even when the back is cut, it is still longer than the front. It is the sign of the redneck. Alternate names include: Ape Drape. Beaver Paddle. Bi – Level. Camero Cut. Buisness in the front, Party in the back. Canadian passport. Coupe Longveuil. El-camino. Hockey hair. Kentucky waterfall. Missouri comprimise. Mudflap. Neckwarmer. Ranchero. Shlonc (short + long). Achy-breaky-bad-mistakey. Soccer rocker. Squirrel pelt. Tennessee tophat. Yep-nope. Mmmmmmmmmmmm…Mullet. (Source)

You know, I’m not the most fashionably savvy gal in the world, but I do feel that I am allowed to comment on mullets, due to my childhood and early adulthood in western and central Pennsylvania (aka two of the places where even today you can find mullets of all sizes and shapes). Please, I even saw (still see!) this often:

rat tail: a rather nappy type of mullet carefully trimed so that the hair in the middle at the base of the skull forms a single, disturbingly long, strand resembling that of a rat’s tail; often spotted on young ratty looking children whose parents don’t know any better than to get them a decent haircut {edited to add: which by the way falls under the “child abuse” category at this source}.(Source) {oh, and I don’t take any responsibility for definition number one of rat tail}

But that’s in western and central Pennsylvania, people. Not here in big city DCUrbanesia!! Oh, but how wrong I was proven this morning. Yep, in my beloved Starbucks, I was confronted with a femullet. Oh, and just in case:

femullet (fem-mullet): there are many varieties of the femullet–and contrary to popular belief, not all femullets are dykemullets, but all dykemullets are definitely femullets. (Source)

Ok, now, here is what disturbs me. No, I don’t care if women want to look masculine (or if men want to look feminine for that matter), but a MULLET?? Make a decision which way you want to look, people! I find it particularly disturbing when I cannot explain away the mullet by saying that the bangs were just cut funny. (You know, when the hair is one half inch short everywhere except the very last lower inch of hair which reaches to the waist? Yeah, that disturbs me!)

I suppose its the fact that I consider us living ‘in the city without being in the city’ and I just don’t expect to see ‘country hair’ here. Perhaps that explains the shock I felt when I walked into my second home and found her standing there. And yes, I know it was a woman for sure. How, you ask? Well, the fact that she had a white t-shirt with the arms cut off and no apparent bra on…yeah, that did it for me. I will say this, though…for a late 30s early 40s woman driving a celery colored minivan, she had some awesome tats on her arms…