Public Service Announcement

It has been brought to my attention that several of my readers are suffering from extreme flatulence as of late. In hopes of the stench not being correlated to them reading my blog, I thought I would do some research.
From the information that I’ve read, I am finding that the ‘dreaded’ carbohydrates are to blame for the majority of human gas production. Apparently, many of us aren’t digesting our carbs the right way (ironic to think that as diabetes and obesity plague our world, we get stinkier, too).
Special note for my lactose intolerant friends:
Wondering what the deal is with that? Well, let me fill you in. Lactase is the name of an enzyme that is supposed to be in your small intestine. Well, you intolerants are missing them-sorry! Anyway, that enzyme is what breaks lactose down in the parts that are about to enter our bloodstream. Since you are missing that, the lactose goes straight to the large intestine. Doesn’t sound so bad, except that’s where the little bacterias are waiting to eat it. When they eat it, they make gas…So basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that, apparently, not only do you lactose intolerants give your bacterias a feast if you have ice cream, but you are also gassier than the rest of the non-lactose intolerant world (I thought to say “regular people” but I see how some people {see at 48 minutes} have used this phrase lately, and well…this is my social commentary on it.)
With that being said, here are my recommendations:
-Eat slowly
-Chew thoroughly
-Sip, don’t gulp!
-Nix sodas and other carbonated drinks
-Nix gum
-Nix sugar-free foods that contain the “-tol’s” (ie sorbitol)
And remember, all of us, regardless of creed, race, image, language, etc, are “regular people”.


2 responses to “Public Service Announcement

  1. I really hate being downwind of all of this! ROFL!!

  2. Well, isn’t that interesting…

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