Change that blahblah, Part Tres

I know, I know! Its been too long to wait for part three of the Change that blahblah series. My sincerest apologies. We ended up going to the beach for the weekend and then the kids and I went to visit my family for a few days. Needlesstosay, I didn’t get a chance to blog like I had wanted to. On the other hand, my lack of posting has given me even more things that I absolutely MUST tell you. I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this, right? Right? RIGHT! LOL

So have any of you ever had a real reason to have your back to the wall? I think Norman needs to have her back to the wall. When I get the creeps, I feel the need for my back to be by the wall. It makes me feel better. The last few days, I have had that feeling of someone sneaking up on me, and I know its from reading her posts, as well as the other synchronistic spooky things that I’ve been seeing over the past few days. It reminds me of a time when I was babysitting my sister. She was a baby, still unable to talk, and I had a friend over. I was packing to go back to college (yes, my sister and I are 20 years apart; no, there are no other kids between us) after college break, and she was hanging out in her carseat while I got my work done. Of course, it was nighttime, and that girl started laughing and waving at the door to my room. I swear she was looking at something, and her eyes moved around the room as if watching someone walk in. She was so happy, and my friend was so freaked out. At the time, it didn’t bother me too terribly much, because I was used to the feeling. Why? Every time I talked about my grandmother who had passed away when I was a baby, a music box in my room would play. Of course, after my sister watched this something, the music box played and then she was done smiling. {Before you get too far away, let me tell you that the music box didn’t ever just play a few notes, it played the whole chorus from start to finish without missing a note. So, no, the music box wasn’t just unwinding like music boxes do. I mean, what are the chances that every time I spoke of my grandmother, the whole chorus would play?} Thinking back on the whole situation freaks me out more now than it did then. It makes me want to sit with my back to the wall so no one can sneak up on me.

As an aside, I think that because of this desire to view everything that’s coming at me, I would make an excellent mafia boss. You know, like in the Godfather? As in, “You should have come to me sooner!” If you would like to sign up to be part of my mafia, just leave me a comment. Be sure to let me know if you would like to be known by a special name, such as Lucky Lola, The Crimson Camilla, Scout the Smasher, or even a more enigmatic name such as The Black Widow or The Bone Crusher. Oh, and if you have any stories that show why a person should have their back against a wall, be sure to either post that in the comments, or (dare I say it?) blog about it on your site and throw me a link back here, eh?

Now, lets talk about En Fuego Man at Starbucks, also known as Flaming Boy. I call him Flaming Boy, because he was so obviously gay. That alone is nothing to really blog about, but the kicker is that when he talked to me over the speaker at the drive through, Lisa (who was on the phone with me at the time) could hear that he was gay. We giggled and speculated what this boy would look like and here is the kicker of it all. He looked like what I call “one of Liss’s boys”. Liss has a ten mile long list of gay men that are her friends. Having met some of them, I will make not just a generalization, but a SWEEPING GENERALIZATION, about Liss’s boys: they are very polite, fun, and great friends to Liss. Several even have impeccable fashion taste. Anyway, En Fuego Man had a full tilt Liss’s Boys Uniform on: collared shirt, cacky pants with braided leather belt, leather loafers, and not a hair out of place. He was a nice looking boy, and very polite. But it made me wonder: are all obviously gay men excellent dressers? Are they all polite? Fun? Good friends? I’m going to start keeping track of the politeness-factor of the men I run into…

Having put that out of the way, let me tell you that when I take my children to the doctor, I have to travel about 30 minutes. Why, you ask? Well, we used to live about 15 miles north of where we live now, and I really like the doctors that Michael went to up there. When we moved down here, I was going to transfer his records, but frankly, all the people I contacted were snooty, so I figured why bother? Anyway, while driving up there, you feel like you are in the boonies (mostly because I take back roads to avoid the massive traffic of the highway). There were a few questions that I wanted to ask you that stem from one of the little towns that I drive through along the way:
-If you live on Sweepstakes Road, does that make you ineligible to win a visit from Mr. McMahon telling you that you won a kajillion dollars?
-Is the 1130-230 timeframe really the optimal time to completely overhaul the landscaping at the McDonald’s drive through?
-If you are going to sell bird cages from your front yard, wouldn’t it be more appealing to a potential purchaser if the cages did NOT have bird toys and (what I lovingly call) poopy papers in the bottom?
Just curious what your thoughts are on those… (insert rolling eyes smiley here, would ya?)

One more question for you guys. Is there anything that really freaks you out when you’re watching television? I have two that just kill me. First and most freaky is that new effect that they are using in horror films where the people move really fast and jerky. You remember the commercial for Gothika? That one chick moved across the hall like that and I knew right then and there that I could never watch that movie. I still haven’t, even though I’ve had it in my possession for probably a year and a half thanks to Liss leaving it here. The second one is watching old black and white documentaries about indigenous peoples. Oh, I can handle naked bodies everywhere, no problem. Its the random eyes rolling in the back of the head dancing that freaks me out. Besides being scary to look at, you wonder about the logistics of it all-how do they not fall into the huge bonfire while dancing with their eyes like that?

Last night I had a great idea for a blog entry

Last night when I was laying in bed, I had a great idea for a blog entry. Seriously, I was laying here and I thought, man, CanuckNicole, my little Wingnut, will be so happy to read that entry-it was one of those that she said always made her giggle because only I wrote that way. You know, one of those obscure, did you ever wonder/here comes insight from Stacie kind of entries. I was so excited about it. This morning, I remembered, but never had time to actually sit down and do anything about it (two kids and babysitting another four year old will do that to ya!). So here I am, sitting in bed wondering what the hell my damn insights were.
Its funny, I used to write down my insights anytime anywhere on anything. Now that I have a very small child attached to me, I don’t get a chance to write so much. I need to remedy that. Also, now that things are simmering down at home and we are getting into a kind of routine (you know how everything changes every week or so when you have a child under the age of one–just as you get used to one thing, they switch it up on you!), I want to start going back to Starbucks to see where all my peeps have gone.
Oh, I’m not talking about all my superbaristas who have moved on to other jobs (that would be a shout out to Big Mike and Devilman!), nor about my lovelyladybaristas who are still working there and making me fantabulous chai! I’m talking about those famous people like Liss’s Little Person, the woman previously known as the “vile Oriental woman” who chewed like a cow, but is now known as the “vile Asian woman” since my husband informed me that calling an Asian person Oriental is rude and should be reserved only for carpets (who knew?!), and of course, my Dallas Cowboys man. I mean, I need to see if these people are still showing up there and doing their normal daily routine. I’m sure there are a few new characters there waiting for me to document and share with the rest of you. The last time I was there, I had Piper with me, so the girls were oohing and ahhing over her, but there was one person who I could tell was now a regular. I realized I was out of the loop when one of the girls called him by name and started really having a conversation with him. I thought of you, my blog audience of millions, waiting and wondering when I would ever update you on my ‘Bucks people. I have let you down severely over the past few months. I realized that this man would make a wonderful entry on the Starbucks Slate, and that I need to research him more in depth. But to whet your whistle, let me tell you how I knew you would want to know about him…
He looked rather disheveled and had shorts on that screamed the 80’s. He looked perhaps late 40’s with wild light curly hair. I think he had a striped shirt on, or perhaps the 80’s shorts just made me THINK he had a striped shirt on, not sure…Anyway, when asked how he was doing, his response was “I haven’t slept in days!” THAT, my dear audience, was how I knew that this man was for you. Yes, indeed. Not sleeping for days? Oh, there’s GOT to be a story behind THAT one! Luckily for you, since they knew his name, he comes in there regularly. I have made it my mission to find out more about this one for you. Special present, isn’t it?
One more note before I go…Just so you know, there are a few normal people that spend time at my ‘Bucks. Two older men are there almost every single time I go and they are both friendly and rather normal…so far.

What’s the plan, Stan?

The plan is to try to chill for a bit. I swear.

Mom and Sarah are on their way here for a few days to help me clear out some of Michael’s old clothes and toys and to get things finalized for the littlest peanut to arrive. They should be here shortly, and then I will go pick up Michael from school. It will be nice to have some company for a bit.

This morning has been pretty busy for me. After I dropped Michael off at school, I went to the Rockville post office to get boxes and send out goodies that scrappers won during the Scrapforums birthday crops. This is a huge post office, and would you believe that they had ZERO boxes. WTF?? “We ran out yesterday.” Um, hello?? How does one run out of shipping supplies when thou art a shipper?? (sorry, angry pregnant lady came out there for a minute) So I went to Target, because I wanted to get some more items for Piper–specifically, I wanted child size hangers, a closet organizer/system/something, and a small side table for beside the rocker in her room. I figured I would buy packing supplies while I was there. Total tool me couldn’t find ANY of these things. So I bought two movies and box of Ho Ho’s. I was so ticked off that I couldn’t find shipping stuff that I drove straight to Staples and bought my shipping stuff there. Normally, I don’t buy from Staples because they are so ridiculously priced up that its not worth it. This time, they were my knight in shining armour. Rock on, Staples! At that point, I managed to get a hold of Liss who was FINALLY out of her meeting (I’m not sure why she thinks her work meetings are more important than talking to me on the phone…LOL) and I ended up going to Starbucks to get us drinks. After I delivered her drink, I went to my normal post office, packed and addressed all my packages and sent them out. I promptly drove home, and VOILA! Here I am! So it was a pretty busy morning, but I’m really happy that I got my parcels mailed off-one less thing to do, right?

I have to tell you something that happened to me while at Starbucks. (Not the normal Bucks at the Land of the Little People, this is a different one.) I was walking in while a mom of two young boys was walking out. I held the door-which is usual for me, even if I have Michael with me. I figure it sets a good example for him, and besides its just nice to do it for other people. Anyway, I digress…The mom was very sweet and said thank you and congratulations to me. I laughed-so many people ignore the bigbuddhabelly for fear that you are just fat and not pregnant-and said thank you. Two men my age were walking in at the same time I was. The one closest to me did not ‘take the door out of my hands’ and the other one was too far away to reach. No big deal, as I had a firm hold of it, but I was kind of suprised, since he was so close to me. Anyway, the coolest thing was that when I was walking out, the other guy was right behind me and held both sets of doors open for me to walk out. I said thank you, smiled and kept on going. When I got outside, he turned around and went back inside the Bucks! I couldn’t believe that this guy was so polite to go out of his way just to open a door for me. I think its fabulous that there are men out there who are truly polite and generous. Someone taught him well, and I appreciate it.

Well, I guess that’s it for now…I am going to chill for a few before Mom and Sarah get here. Hope you’re having a wonderful day!

In case you were wondering

The football guy was getting coffee when I got to Starbucks today. He was nearly asleep in a chair by the time I left (only a few minutes!)…yep, still had the ring on. And shorts with tall socks.

{Round robin}

Second exerpt from journal at the Bucks today…

…Guess who took the place of previously dubbed “vile Oriental woman” in the squishy black chair to my right? Mister NFL Ring, himself! Straight off, let me tell you about what you most want to know-the ring. Its on his right hand, and therefore too far away for observation. Yeah, what it comes down to is that all I can see is the same side as Monday and that each time I try to peak at it, he looks straight at me. He probably thinks I’m a nut. Oh, but I do have some bit of revelation. Thanks to one of the ladies who work here, I now know his name: Fred. Fred, the NFL Cowboys Ring Wearer.
Funny little note. He downed what might be a cappucino or expresso – whatever comes in a tiny cup? – and proceeded to lean his head back, TUCK HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS (of course!), and go to sleep! Just like Monday. Curious. Curious.
When Fred sat down next to me, I said hi. He seemed surprised or put off. It appears he comes here often, so I will just keep saying hello to him, LOL. Eventually, I WILL figure this ring situation out…right?
You know what? As I sit here staring at him while he sleeps, he kinda reminds me -facially only!- of the little person who stalks Liss. Very curious, indeed. Or I could just be imagining things…
I found an image of the ring on the web from The Danbury Mint, which makes me think he’s a fan…apparently it says NFL on both sides in stead of a year on one side. Who knew where Monday’s curiosity would lead me?

{Vile woman}

I made it to the Bucks again today while Michael was at school. A good time was had by all until…well, just read this from my journal entry at the time…

Okay, I have spent all this time on my, and while I wanted to continue to do so, the Oriental woman sitting in the squishy black chair to my right is forcing herself onto my pages. Sweet Mary, Mother of God, is she out of control. Some things just can’t be ignored in life-such as this woman’s ABSOLUTE inability to chew with her mouth closed. It isn’t even the whole “see-food” issue here-its the SOUND. For God’s sake, close your damn mouth and save us all from this hell of smacking lips and smooshy wet donuts that you have imprisoned us in! Oh, yeah, there you go-dunk the donut in the coffee and let ‘er rip! My random bout of morning sickness this morning must have been in anticipation of this vile woman (who I am sure is a lovely person-or could be if she learned some basic manners).

{The mystery at Starbucks}

An exerpt from my journal written on 2.20 in the Bucks…

A man who sits in the chair next to me has a class ring on. The ring is squared with a dark jewel (onyx? sapphire?) in the middle. The ring looks pewter/silver and has a silver outline of a star in the jewel. The reason I write is that I alwasy wonder about people who wear class rings after age 25. The man is clearly past age 45. It makes me wonder what is the connection that keeps people wearing their class rings after all this time? (Regardless of whether it is a high school ring or college ring-its irrelevant.) Is it actual feeling or habit of wearing it? Is it nostalgia? Is it a desire to keep that person who they were then alive and part of the now? Is it the fact that the ring was expensive and therefor must be worn? Or perhaps the person wants to give it to their child and wants that child to remember them actually wearing it? Or on a less positive note, is it taking the place of another ring? It would be interesting to me to see ages and genders of who still wears their class ring (or not) and why (or why not)…
My first thought on seeing [this man's] ring was that the star looked like the Dallas Cowboys star. And while I was throwing other ideas on the page, I thought of fraternity/sorority/group and championship rings and how people wear those. Well, sure as shittin’ when I peeked again while he sleeps in his chair, the side I could see said NFL on it. I wish he would put it up again so I could see the other side to see the year. The new question for him is-Is this HIS ring from experience or is it a commemorative “fan ring” (and do those exist?)? Is it rude to ask? Haha, we ll know I don’t have the cahones to do that.
New story/concept from my thoughts: Is this related in my mind to someone sitting alone in the cafeteria? Eating alone at a restaurant? Is he “famous” but lost? No one recognizes him? Was he a benchwarmer? My heart is curious. And I may never know the answer…if I could see that ring again, I could google it, heehee.
Damn! His ring is in full view, but it is twisted so that all I can stinking see if NFL! Will this remain a mystery to me?? Its 11:10 and NOOOOOO!!!!! He just got up and left!

“And like that, he was gone.” – The Usual Suspects

I suppose the joke’s on me and I won’t ever know the real truth. A mystery that could have been solved by asking a few questions. Gone, just like Kaiser Sose.

Re: A Certain “Stalkering”

He really isn’t a little person. Yes, vertically challenged. Yes, shorter than I, but only by a few inches (aka his eyes around my chin height). Yes, I know this because he stood no less than two feet away from me as I disciplined my child in the grocery store during the original “stalkering.”
During the most recent “stalkering,” I was subjected to multiple views of him. Still short, but not a dwarf. In order to back up my thoughts that this guy (as creepy as he is) is not a little person, I present to you this definition of dwarfism:

Dwarfism is a condition in which a person, animal or plant is much below the ordinary size of the species. When applied to people, it implies not just extreme shortness, but a degree of disproportion. Dwarfism is now rarely used as a medical term and is sometimes (but not always) considered impolite or pejorative. Today, the term little person tends to be preferred.

Little person (as opposed to big person), and short-statured are currently preferred terms to refer to a person with extreme, disproportionate shortness. Dwarf is sometimes perceived as having negative connotations, although the term is often used by those affected. The plural is dwarfs — dwarves is used only for the imaginary creature. In the 19th century both dwarf and midget were ordinary medical terms referring to persons of disproportionate and proportionate shortness, respectively. Like many other older medical terms, they became primarily pejorative as they entered popular use. Midget is now considered offensive in all contexts to most, but not all, little people.

(All previous info from this source page).

And just to add the clincher:

Q: What is the definition of dwarfism?
A: Little People of America (LPA) defines dwarfism as a medical or genetic condition that usually results in an adult height of 4′10″ or shorter, among both men and women, although in some cases a person with a dwarfing condition may be slightly taller than that. (Little People of America FAQ page.)

Oh, and just so you know, mad props out to my girliegirl, Liss, for overcoming her original fear of “stalkering” just to get some tea. Rock on! (((HUGS)))